So Much Pain

The past few, well, several, months have been so difficult.
So much pain and suffering of my heart.
My step dad died suddenly.
My grandson was born and then my daughter and I parted angrily.
My second daughter leaves in anger.
I bring my bonus daughter up from Arizona, with her two girls.
She connects my last daughter with my ex husband, then leaves. All without telling anyone.
My youngest daughter leaves in anger.
I was so tired.
But it wasn't over.
I then did twelve weeks of an incredibly intense therapy. It was so hard. But I did it. 
And I found the source of everything I have struggled with in my life. The source of every tendril, every wisp of ugliness.
It's my mom.
So many things make sense now. So many things that I've never been able to understand are becoyclear.
It's heart breaking.
I've never known such a heavy load.
And I have never felt closer to my Father in Heaven

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